When people fall in love, they develop the desire to be in each other’s company. Being together signifies their dedication to each other, and they hold on to keep this thought alive for as long as possible. But the thing is, they are still individuals who have their own tastes and can think for themselves. When spending time together becomes too much to bear, it can cause tension and make the relationship crack. One gesture of annoyance could spell trouble for the union. This is something that even couples in supposed wedded bliss encounter, which later on would have them turning to a marriage counselor for guidance.
A topic that will surely come up in therapy sessions is the concept of having alone time. The truth is, some couples come to a point where they feel suffocated in their relationships. It can be due to a host of factors, but one thing that can help is strictly establishing time for one’s self.
People always say that variety is the spice of life. It is natural for a person to seek out fresh experiences, so they can break out of their mundane daily tasks. Believe it or not, seeing your significant other can be one of those. Single people have no problem choosing what they want to do because they only have to think for themselves. They do not have to think of another one’s preferences when they go out to eat at the restaurant or watch a movie.
When you are seeing someone, you are confined to what you both agree on. It is not a problem if you both like what you are doing, but it can get frustrating otherwise. Knowing that there are other things you can try but are unable to is a thought that will float on your head unless you do something about it. Until then, you will feel anger towards your partner, and this is why spending time with yourself could help. Getting the freedom to choose anything without compromises could ease away from that tension brewing in you.
Face it: People are not perfect. You will notice flaws that will get your blood boiling no matter how small they can be. Now turn the tables and think about yourself. What do others not like about me? It can be the way you speak, the way you walk, or your opinions. Now as someone who has a spouse, imagine magnifying that feeling several times since you practically see each other all the time. It is okay if you are being corrected for your bad habits, as those surely need to be corrected. But know that even subjective stuff is not immune to scrutiny. If you happen to like horror movies but your significant other does not, it will definitely lead to a compromise. Both of you have to give up something. Either you lay off watching those movies, or your partner would force themselves to see them. If you are given just enough time to enjoy what you like by yourself, it could give out huge dividends to your well-being.
In a serious relationship, you have to accept the fact that a lot of the actions or decisions that you have to take will be a consensus. But you and your partner should also talk about how you want to also nurture yourselves as individuals. Encourage each other to get into whatever interests you, like a hobby, as a form of self-expression. Having a sense of individuality gives you mental and spiritual independence, and it will prepare you for a future where you will be alone. Everyone will experience that at a point in their lives for various reasons, but you can only carry on if you know how to express yourself.
Love defines a relationship, and this can be shared by two people or offered to yourself. It is normal for you to experience a little tension, but that is only temporary. You both will grow if you allow yourselves to do so individually, and that can be achieved by giving yourselves some time alone from time to time.